Set boundaries before they are set for you

Many of you are “people pleasers”. You like to make people happy, and don’t really like conflict. Unfortunately, people pleasers are susceptible to a specific type of  “freedom thief”. You can be imprisoned by trying to live up to others’ expectations of you.

Living up to others’ expectations can come in many forms. You may feel that you need to maintain a certain income level or status in your occupation to live up to the expectations of a significant other, spouse, or parent, for example.

You may feel that you have to work nights and weekends and sacrifice your family life to make a manager happy.

Meanwhile, you are exhausted and your insides are churning. These expectations become a burden that you resent. But you feel stuck in this endless cycle and don’t know how to move forward.

So, what can you do about it?

• Take ownership of your boundaries. Get clear on what you want in your career and set reasonable boundaries to protect yourself. For example, what is a reasonable schedule that will allow you to do a good job while making time for other parts of your life?

• Stand up for yourself. Have honest conversations with the people in your life so that they understand your boundaries. While you will have some uncomfortable conversations, ultimately, it’s likely that the people in your life will respect you for this.

• Stick to it. If you are a people pleaser, others’ may be in the habit of overstepping your boundaries. Rather than giving in, stick to your guns, and people will eventually get it.